18 Mar 2016

I believe I'm full

Submitted by Victoria

I believe I'm full
full to overflowing
can't take in any more
need to spit some out

there's too many things in my head
always dancing around
like too many plates in the air
they threaten to collide and come

... crashing

......... down

I must breathe
take a deep breath and release
release some of this tension
release some of these plates
but I love all my plates
which one would I send away
which one would I never get to admire again
how to find peace
when my mind keeps swirling around

It seems I alternate
between starving for more
and being overwhelmed by the moreness
I love reading others' posts
but then stress at the need to comment
find words to express the impact I've felt
it brings to the surface my feelings of less
will my comment be as meaningful
as the others already expressed

and what about the things I need to do
which ones win the day
working indoors or out
which of the hundred or so tasks
or should I just play

I haven't done this and I haven't done that
of which I've promised my time and attention to others
Oh, and what about planning that wedding
or painting the house
should I till the garden or mow the lawn
and what about the herbs I've run out of
or the new foods to make

meanwhile, the wind blows
and the sun gives us one more day
before the rains begin again
and the world floats away

and, sleep, what's that -
but this little visit inside my brain
may give you some idea
why sleep eludes me again

16 Mar 2016

Magic Carpet Ride

Submitted by Victoria

I met a new friend one day
seemed no one else could spy.
She was small like an elf child
with a mischievous sparkle in her eye.

She moved her finger in invitation
and ran off down the street.
I followed her close behind
not knowing who we'd meet.

We came upon a willow tree
and up the tree she flew.
I moved with hesitation,
not having any clue.

We climbed higher and higher
right on out of that tree.
There were clouds all around us
as far as the eye could see.

Onto a magic carpet
we climbed for a ride.
She let out a gleeful laugh
and I was right by her side.

We wandered over a magical land
with strange shapes and colors below.
My mind was reeling
wondering where on earth we'd go.

Then with the snap of her fingers
we landed on a slide.
She rubbed her hands upon it
and softly we fell inside.

I awoke with a start
no magical friend nearby.
Apparently I'd had a fantastic dream,
so lets just say goodbye.

15 Mar 2016

Drizzle on the window

Submitted by Victoria

Window drizzle Its a rainy day.
I've had only a few hours sleep.
Spent hours in the night
updating the front page of the site.
Now I have a home for my writing
I find I have nothing to say.
Its that force of expectation.
Its that idea I "should be" doing this.
I know, its nonsense -
I do it because
it feeds my soul,
keeps my mind more calm,
gives me a voice.
I simply have to do it.
I have a place to say
all those things in my mind.
Folks can listen or not
it doesn't really matter.
I get to speak.
Someone will listen.
Someone will care.
I'll feel heard.
Its a strange little fiction
playing out day to day.
Drizzle on the window,
tomorrow perhaps the sun,
maybe a night of sleep.
As always -
will be a new day
and I'll feel the muse
kicking around in my head
kicking up dust
sparking the imagination
spreading her sprinkles of inspiration
and I'll feel whole
once again.

27 Feb 2016

Write, Because

Submitted by Victoria

Like my life depended on it
My inner thoughts
To record
My learning process
To inspire
To encourage contemplation
A balm for pain
For healing

I have a voice
Writing brings me to life
Without it, I become aimless and angst ridden
Daily writing makes me smile
It listens
It doesn't judge
It touches others
It makes me whole

22 Feb 2016

Black out poem: husband

Submitted by Victoria

A black out poem is created by taking a copy of a page from a book and then blacking out the words, keeping only those which speak to you, creating a poem along the way. My first attempt...

by his arms
to rest gladly
shine, new, beautiful
everything certain
smile openly

21 Mar 2011

Spring Into Action

Submitted by Victoria

Several years ago I participated in a personal growth retreat. The retreat consisted of exercises, some in groups and others individually oriented. During one of the group exercises, we were given a map, several tools and told to head out and setup camp when we arrived. The group I was in spent considerable time planning how we were going to arrive at the appropriate location. The other groups were long gone before we finally decided we should quit planning and start moving.

I thought of that event this morning when I thought of the time I have spent "preparing" for my massage business. I spent many hours preparing the room, our home, the front yard, whatever else came to mind. Then, I've spent countless hours working on the website, optimizing for search engines and trying to convey my message in the best possible way. When I thought of the event and the time spent planning rather than moving, I knew it was time to quit "preparing" and start doing.

It is easy to spend time nurturing our ideas, turning them over in our minds and plotting how to best implement them. Eventually we have to take action, plant the idea and allow it to grow and blossom. With the spring equinox yesterday, it seems an appropriate time to move forward. I'd like to encourage others to take action on your dreams, however small or grand. The season is upon us to plant seeds and watch them sprout and show their loveliness.

11 Nov 2010


Submitted by Victoria

The energies are swirling around me, pushing me to growth and change. And, I am uncomfortable.

I am taking an herbal class on herbal energetics. The goal is to learn to communicate with plants through our senses, primarily through taste. One of the first lessons is about the need to connect with nature and to be open.

I have also signed up for a two week challenge by Kamana to spend time in nature each day for 15 days giving thanks. Part of this process is about being in a sit spot which is a place to observe and connect in nature.

These both seem like they should be easy tasks, however, I am not good at opening and connecting. I get close in my life and then I run away. Opening means risk. It means exposing myself to the world in some way. And, in my experience the world isn't always a safe place. I've faced this challenge before and thought I'd learned to connect. Then bad things happened again and I "relearned" the inherent danger of being open.

I see how this also fits right into my desire to be a massage therapist. I practiced massage for almost seven years before the pain in my hands became too great to continue. It took a long time for the pain to go away and when it did, the desire to resume massage became great. I've taken steps to get my license but have noted when I do give a massage, my hands hurt again for a couple of days.

The physical pain could be very real. But I wonder if there isn't a component related to connection. Connecting with our hands with another person is a very powerful practice whether its massage or just holding a hand. Perhaps the physical pain in my hands is simply reflective of the pain in my soul around connection.

I don't have any answers right now, I'm just observing.

29 May 2010


Submitted by Victoria

Certainty, absolute certainty
Yet the timing isn't right
Ripeness comes in its own time
Hints of the fruit
Yet one must wait
Knowing with certaintiy
Of the fruit that is to come.

18 Feb 2010

LIfe unfurling

Submitted by Victoria

I can feel the energy of spring pushing through the surface of my mind. Like the first leaves unfurling from the dormant plant, my being seems to be awakening. It's been a long winter, lasting several seasons for me but I feel this excitement about life that hasn't been there for a long time.

I can still feel my self shrinking back at moments, perhaps its become a habit. But the urge to move forward and engage in life once again is becoming stronger each passing day. How exactly that life will reveal itself remains to be seen, but I'm sure it will reflect the long struggle and the strength that has been gained.

24 Dec 2009

Drench your body in lotion

Submitted by Victoria

Today, I made "Rosemary's Face Cream". The general recipe is pretty famous in herbal circles because it is so wonderful. I recently saw a video on HerbMentor.com by Rosemary Gladstar showing how to make this great cream. I had made it before but it was interesting to see her approach.

One of the things she talked about was cleaning up after making the cream. She said she takes the extra cream that is in the blender or bowl and rubs it all over and sometimes in her hair. So, today, when I was finished making lotion I did just that. It was wonderful fun and I highly recommend drenching your whole body, hair included, in lotion.

Now I have to say I have thick, coarse hair that really drinks up moisturizers. I know the hair part wouldn't work for everyone and if your hair tends to be oily, I would avoid that part. But the rest is a wonderful way to nourish yourself, especially if you are brave enough to try making some lotion or cream yourself.


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